GUEST BLOG - The label I give myself (Written by K. Perrin)

This is a guest blog very kindly written by K Perrin

What are your beliefs one asks? Are you a Witch another asks? Oh no YOU practice  “Witchcraft”..it goes on..people I meet hear the world “Witch”, and “Pagan” they tend to look at me a bit differently than the “norm”..throw in “eclectic pagan witch” and some run the other direction..why? You tell me! Here is my story. It will contain bits that I am sure you will disagree/laugh/judge/or even roll your eyes at  but please, just remember it is my story, my life as an Eclectic Pagan Witch, the label I give myself. 
I was born in April 1966. In a Hertfordshire town in England. My parents, quite young, married due to the pregnancy. Family/friends knew it wouldn’t last and it didn’t. I was only 4 months old when I went to live with my maternal grandparents. My Dad, carried on with his life, my mother carried on with hers. My Grandparents were my Parents from that day forth. 
We were just a regular family living in a little counsel house. My Grandmother, Catholic, My Grandad, Church of England. Then there was me. Sure I was baptized Catholic, have a God Mother & a God Father, but I knew I was different in the Religious spect. We didn’t say grace at dinner and didn’t go to church but I knew my dear Grandmother did her “in the name of the Father, Son & Holy Ghost thing”.  I never witnessed my Grandad pray..maybe he did silently, I don’t know. What I do know is he was a very good gardener. I was always “tinkering” around with him in the garden, thus the nickname he gave me “Tinker”. This is where my path begun, in the garden! 
My first memory of being in the Garden that truly stuck was my pet Hedgehog. He (or maybe it was a she) lived under the hedge in between our back garden and the neighbors, who, by the way, had a son, that rode a motorcycle. He would chase after me and scare me while wearing his helmet. Making him stop was my first attempt at casting a spell…it worked, as he did stop..was it my spell casting? Or was it my grandmother politely asking him to stop scaring me?..I want to believe it was my spell! I loved watching H.R Puff n Stuff with Witchie Poo and of course the movie Wizard of Oz. I felt connected to the Hollywood portrayed “Witchies”..little did I know the reason for my connection had a meaning in my life. 
Back to my Hedgehog, I called him/her “Hedgy”..I believe he was male so I will refer to it as a him from now on. Hedgy was scared of me at first but as the weeks went on I would sit and talk to him beside the hedge, one day he actually came towards me, I was so excited, it was almost like he understood what I was saying and knew I wouldn’t hurt him. I didn’t tell anyone about hedgy & my relationship, although my grandparents did know he existed. He seemed to talk back to me. I would sneak him bits of bread ect to feed him. One day my granddad was outside doing his gardening and I was tinkering as I did and I felt an over whelming sense of loneliness. I went over to Hedge’s layer and he wasn’t anywhere to be seen..I called him..he didn’t come. Days went by, no hedgy. I told my Grandad. He explained that maybe another animal got him or he just moved along. I was devastated. I sat next to the hedge by Hedges layer. Crying. Then I heard him speak. Almost soothing me, explaining he had to move along and he was sorry he had to leave. I felt a bit mad at him but at the same time content he was ok. I still think of Hedgy’s spirit. Everything has one you know. I call on him in times of trouble and he seems to sooth me. 
My next “friend” was a crow, then a frog (who lived in our pond, the frog not the crow), Crow was great although very naughty, I loved his naughty behavior, he made me laugh, I loved the way he cocked his head when I spoke to him (or was he a her?). Crow is still with me, he lives forever, he has followed me from England to Canada. More on Canada later. Frog, well, he was a bit boring,  but he did offer me protection from ugly spider, I didn’t like spiders then (funny, a Witch not liking spiders). He told Ugly Spider not to scare me or come to close to me. I would be the one to come close when I was ready. I found Ugly Spider curled up in a ball not moving one day, I was quite upset, maybe I did like spiders after all. I picked him up, he had passed from this world, I spoke to him, and promised to protect him and all his family from that day forth. I buried him in the Garden. Told Crow, “don’t you dare dig him up and eat him”…He listened! When a spider visits me now, I tell them quietly about Ugly Spider and not to worry. I will never hurt you. I use Ugly Spider’s spirit in my spells..I also call on Crow & boring Frog. 
When my Grandad would do his pruning and or cutting grass, I would follow behind him and talk to the plants, the trees, the grass. Explaining they will feel much better with a hair cut. Sometimes I would go off ahead and explain to the next bush, its your turn soon. Not to worry. My connection to Nature was huge. My love towards the plants, the trees, everything down to the insects grew on a daily basis. It felt like the love I had for my Grandparents. Nature was a part of me, I was a part of it. I remember staring out my bedroom window at the full, bright moon, her energy seemed to fill me, to heighten my awareness of the spiritual world. She seemed to speak to me. I wouldn’t close my bedroom curtains on a bright moon night..I needed to see her as I fell asleep. 
Now for the Fairies..oh goodness those little Fairies. They lived at the bottom of the Garden. My Grandmother told me so, it was a mission of mine to find and introduce myself. I thought I saw one once, from the corner of my eye, a funny little creature with wings, this one had a big nose ,green shorts and no shoes. I would go to the bottom of the garden and call on the Fairies to help me with a certain issue..they always wanted something in return. If I didn’t give it, they didn’t help( I felt they were angry at me). As soon as I gave an offering(bits of food or something shiny), the help was there. I didn’t know this then but I sure know now how important it is to always have an offering. By the way, my Fairies lived close to a cluster of bluebells. I knew they were close when the bluebells would gently sway as if in a breeze but no breeze present. Never did I have to protect myself from the Fairies, I have never cast a protection circle in any of my work. If I feel the need to be protected I would call on the “powers that be” to protect me..as well as the Spirits of Hedgie, Crow & Frog. 
In 1974 my Family packed up and moved to Canada. I didn’t like the idea but what could I say to stop the family, My mother had remarried, had three more daughters and had taken me back to live with her and her new family. I still remember the day my mother said,” I lived with her now”.. It’s a nasty piece of my life I would soon like to forget but I will touch on it briefly later. I feel its connected to my life path. 
I remember being in  the Garden, the day before leaving for Canada. I ran around saying goodbye to my trees, the flowers,plants, rocks, my fairies, the spirit of Hedgie, Crow & Frog. Even ugly spider under the earth. I had no idea what Canada was about. All I knew I was leaving my magical Garden in my beautiful magical homeland of England. While saying goodbye, feeling like I was being ripped away, an energy seemed to wrap me in warmth and calmness. It seemed to relax my senses and tell me we (who-ever we was) will never leave you. From that moment Canada didn’t seem all that bad…
Oh I forgot to mention, when I moved back with my mother and her family, our home backed onto a church grave yard. My bedroom window looked out onto the graveyard. That’s when I saw my first spirit in human form. I was 7. It didn’t scare me, it fascinated me, from then on I was fascinated by the “paranormal” . I love visiting graveyards. I often take a cutting or soil from an old grave to use in my workings.
 I have this “feeling”.. I know when the spirit of a certain person or loved one is present. I am planning on studying this “sense”.  I have been to numerous places and get these feelings, later to find out that the places are haunted or the more appropriate wording is “active”. 
There was this little house on my way school, I was always drawn to this house, I would stop and look, the kids I walked with would say “don’t stop there, that’s a Witches house” but me, I needed to stop there was something about the house. One day I walked by the little old lady living in the house was out in her garden. She saw me looking she said “hello”, I said “hello” back. I felt kind of like an electric energy pass through me. It scared and soothed me at the same time, the little old lady smiled turned away and continued in her garden..to this day I ask myself “what the heck was that”? I never saw the old lady again it was shortly after this our house sold and we moved to Canada. 
Ok, so in Canada now. I am 8 years old. Missing my garden, my home, my grandparents. It took months for me to get a settled feeling. My grandparents arrived later that year. My settling begun or did it? I wasn’t loved by my mother thus the home with her wasn’t a comfortable one. There were numerous times while in the sacred space of my bedroom I would sit and call onto my spirits and powers that be to protect me. It lasted until I was 15 years old. I gathered my powers with in me and ran. My sacred bedroom was no longer sacred. I won’t go there but I will say It was my one and only time I wished harm to another. Very soon after cursing I unraveled the curse, hoping it wasn’t too late. It wasn’t, thank you powers that be! I left never looking back. I moved back in with my Grandparents. I was home again. Only in a different country. The country that didn’t have the radiating magical feel but one I could still work with as I know my spirits were still with me. Don’t misunderstand me, Canada is a beautiful country but it just doesn’t have what England does in a magically speaking way. 
Living back with my grandparents was my settling. I could work my magic secretly in my bedroom and out side in the (new) garden, my new garden wasn’t as nice but it was outside where I felt my connection,  surrounded by the trees, plants, flowers, the gentle breeze, the bird songs and of course, Crow! My Dear Grandmother passed from this world in 2002 and my Dear Grandad in 2006. Those days were dark and horrible. Although I miss them terribly it was my magical mind that helped me deal with their loss. My Grandmother knows that I practice Witchcraft now, although at first she didn’t like it, it was because she didn’t understand it. She now is one of my protection spirits. My Grandads’ spirit helps me in my garden.
Many times I would go for a walk, look down and find a certain stone  or  a stick that spoke to me. My best day was the day I found my “holey stone”,( witches stone, hag stone). I was over the moon with delight. I read holey stones were and can be very useful in a Witches bag of tricks. That stone, to me is very sacred. No one is to touch it. Witches can be very protective over their tools and touching certain bits can cause energy dishevel. 
In my adult life now, I can say I have always been a Witch. My connection was made as a child in the Garden. I use the word Eclectic because I don’t have one true path. It’s a bit of a crooked path I walk. I take little bits of knowledge, beliefs, ritual from other walks and apply them to my own workings. Always Thanking for that bit as I go. I’m not vocal in my workings. I speak with my minds voice. You will see me very quiet, it is during these times I am stirring a little bit of magic into my day. I sometimes come across as I really don’t know what I am talking about but in my mind its all there, my workings, my spirits everything I need to practice my spell crafting and walk my crooked path. 
My job in the mundane world was in health care. I was a Care Aide (nurse aide). I worked over 14 years caring for the sick & elderly, until one normal day at work my back decided it had had enough. In a moment of lifting, my back gave out, it resulted in two surgeries and now a life of chronic pain. I am on a disability pension at 48 yrs old but in saying that my magic has helped me deal with my injury. I went through my ordeal( and still) with hardly any pharmaceutical drugs for pain or such. I do have my really bad pain days that no magic will help that’s when I will take a very low dose of (pharmaceutical) pain relief and put all my energies into healing to feel somewhat better. I also went into a deep depression due to my work place accident and again I use my magic to help me along. Again no Pharmaceutical intervention just magic. You need to believe, focus and your magic will work. Clear your mind and focus on the task at hand. 
I use the word Pagan to describe (label) myself  because I like the real meaning I read once it means “country dweller”. None of this “umbrella “ term. I also like Traditional. I am big on Traditions. To me, a tradition is something that is passed down from generation to generation one who practices the old ways, historical speaking not necessarily passed down but learned from reading the old ways.
I have visions/dreams as someone in a past life. Someone who lived in a little cottage on the out skirts of a little village. Someone villagers would come to for healing. This little cottage had a thatched roof. Lots of herbs, flowers in the garden. My visions or dreams don’t give me much information just enough to know that once I lived many years ago a much simpler life. It also had a huge fire place and lots of little bottles that contained herbs and bits I can’t make out. This is where I get my label “Witch”..I believe at one time, long ago I was a Village wise woman. 
So that’s a bit of my life how I came to walk this sometimes crooked path, I love crooked, straight lines bore me. I do have to mention I have a fabulous husband, who understands my path and sometimes even walks it with me. He’s definitely not a witch but supports the ways I live. Together we have a daughter; she is married and has two beautiful sons. Our grandsons are more than precious to us. We also have a little dog, part Chihuahua part Pomeranian. I would have a cat but my husband is highly allergic. We also have a house Elf. He is Dobby from the Harry Potter film. We won him in a contest when the first Harry Potter film came out. We love him very much and I sometimes include him in my work. He was meant to be in our family. When I entered the contest to win him I poured magic energy into my ballot for Dobby to come live with us..it worked!!  
I hope you have enjoyed reading a little about me..I do tend to go on a bit..I have deleted much, maybe I should write a book and put the bits I left out back in ;-) Witches tend to be quite private people. Sometimes my Facebook says differently ;-) 

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