QUESTION - Can you give me a spell please that I will cast myself to rid myself of a toxic unhealthy love (going through divorce) and allowing myself to not obsess and go back to him again and again. I love him but must let go. Fear and negatively creep their way in every time.
I am looking for a spell that will also combine attraction from someone new.
I hope to find a new love that will treat me with the respect, kindness and goodness that I deserve and will loving mirror that back. This is the end of my 3rd marriage and I so badly need to discard old patterns that continue to bog me down and cause me to choose men that hurt me. I need luck, magick and hopefully some of your good advice and a spell.
ANSWER - I think everybody in the universe would understand and sympathise with this and I think you are very brave for voicing it out loud. I get a lot of questions from people who are unable to identify their own
self-destructive patterns of behaviour and it is a refreshing change to get a question from somebody who isn’t asking for help getting back into that cycle of negativity but who is in fact looking to break it.
I can’t pretend I’ve got all the answers but I can give you a couple of suggestions that I hope will be of some use. The most important thing to my mind is that you make more than one change in your life at the same time. If the only change you make is getting rid of this man then there will be a huge hole in your life that will make you long for him all the more. You need to mix up your usual patterns and routines and make it harder to identify the gaps and the empty times you used to spend together. Try and introduce some things into your routine to look forward to as well, some things you really enjoy. Even simple things like an evening in the bath with a glass of wine will act as milestones that will break up the stress involved in forcing yourself not to contact him.
I am also a fan of putting a brave face on things because when you project unhappiness you invite a situation where people want to talk about how bad things are for you and you end up acting as a magnet for every negative emotion for miles around. Try to project positivity in the hope that people will project it back at you and your interactions will be something to lift up your day rather than drag you back down.
When we fall in love with somebody, a part of that love isn’t just about the other person but it is about loving the person we are when we are with them. This can be one of the hardest things to let go. When we lose that person we were involved with we are, to an extent, mourning a part of ourselves that was lost with them. It is important to re-establish your own identity and learn to see yourself as an independent person again. This links in with the magic I am going to suggest you perform. What you need is to attract is a man who is good for you as a person. So in order to do this you need to think hard about what defines you as the person you are. My suggestion is that you get a clear glass ball and fill it with things that represent you (A flower, a phrase from a poem, a lock of your hair… anything that works for you) and then hang it close to the entrance of your home. The exercise of thinking about the things that represent you will focus your mind back to your own self identify as a person and put you in the best frame of mind for undertaking the spell work.
Use a pastry brush to coat the top half of the ball with honey - which symbolises both the sweetness of attraction and the stickiness of a snare. Anointing with rose oil is a traditional staple in working love magic so carefully anoint the base of your ball with rose oil. Visualise this ball as representing all that is good and positive about you and when you look at it, visualise it sending your positive energy into the world to look for a partner who will love and appreciate you. The visualisation is the power in this spell. Revisit your ball daily and make a very conscious effort to reinvigorate your working, focusing each time on the true essence of yourself being projected into the world to find its true partner.
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