Hi there. I have been with my partner for 15 months. We are very much in love. He has been dealing with addiction and abuse issues for a while now. Over the 3 months he has been clean he has become increasingly aggressive towards me and seriously verbally abusive, to the point where he actually makes no sense at all. His aggression has now started to turn physical. He is fully aware it's wrong but seems to have no idea how to handle it. I want him to turn around and face himself and look at what he is doing/becoming. I could easily kick him out couldn't I?
I have considered Odin's binding and I have been studying the ritual and examining my intentions very carefully. In my text book it says I must disconnect from the person I'm binding. So my questions are...is it too severe a ritual? Would we be disconnected permanently (I don't want that)?
I appreciate that in looking at himself he may decide he no longer needs me.
Some advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
No doubt if you asked this question in certain less conventional quarters you’d get an unequivocal answer suggesting you kick him out. I’m not going to say that. However I do believe that in any abusive relationship – no matter how much focus there is on the abusive partner getting better – there has to be a final line established. The danger of being in an abusive relationship is that you will push your own limits back further and further in the belief that he will somehow get better or change until eventually you are unable to leave.
My advice is to establish a very clear line in your own mind as to what would constitute the end for you. What would be his last chance? At what point does enough become enough? I can’t tell you to when leave him because this line of what is acceptable is different for everybody. For some women a single slap is enough to warrant divorce, others will give second, third or even fourth chances. Neither is right or wrong, every woman has the right to draw her own line in the sand. Think hard about how many chances you are prepared to give him, communicate it to him and stick to it. If and when he crosses the line then it’s over - and you would be strongly advised to walk away.
Obviously the above only applies if you do not believe yourself to be in danger. If you feel you are under any threat of danger from staying with this man then of course you should leave him immediately.
The addiction (I’m presuming drug abuse) is a worry. If this man isn’t seeing a doctor then he certainly needs to be. You haven’t said what kind of substances he is taking but if he’s been clean for three months and is still displaying these kind of side effects then the drugs are substances that warrant medical help and support to come off. There are medications he can be prescribed to help with the severity of the withdrawal and he may also be offered counselling. I strongly suggest you encourage him to see a doctor as soon as he can and if he is already seeing a doctor then look for another one who will offer the support he needs to get through this.
I’ve had a look at Odin’s Binding (click for link). The principles are actually quite sound – it’s a very simple basic binding. To be honest though, you’d get the best results from scrapping the wording used in the spell and substituting your own words explaining precisely what it is you want to happen as a result of the working. Be aware though that binding isn’t curing your problem, it’s just delaying it. You may be able to prevent this man from harming you with a binding but you are not addressing the underlying problem of his addiction, his violence or his unhappiness. I think you would be better working on the root cause rather than bandaging over the wound which is all a binding will achieve.
You ask if Odin’s binding is too severe a ritual – No - it is a very simple basic binding spell. The power as with any working comes from you, not the spell itself. The success/failure of the ritual will be in the strength of your visualisation of the link between this man and his poppet and the transference of your intent into the binding. I wouldn’t worry about permanent disconnection, remember that you are controlling this working, if your intention is not to bring about a permanent end to your relationship and you state and visualise that clearly, I don’t see you having a problem.
Going forward I think you are aware something in this situation has to change. Either his behaviour has to change or you have to walk away. Staying in this abusive cycle is doing neither of you any good. The best advice I can give you is to put forward some constructive suggestions – talk about taking a break from each other, him seeing his doctor, he avoids friends or situations that make his behaviour worse, he avoids alcohol etc…. See how he reacts. If he’s willing to give it a go then possibly your relationship still has a future but if he rejects your attempts to mend this then you’re just back in the cycle of abuse.
Incidentally if I were looking to resolve this situation with magic I would be focusing less on binding and more on healing him. Poppet work would be useful but rather than doing a binding, try making some individual “body parts” of a poppet (just some pieces of cloth stuffed with filling from an old cushion) and then stitch the pieces carefully back into a whole, focusing all the time on allowing your love and healing to enter the poppet and join his disjointed parts together. Focus on all that he is coming together to form the unity of the man you love and then once finished keep the poppet somewhere safe and secure where you can hold it daily and infuse with your love and support.
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