My boyfriend wants to marry me but I'm starting to think that our whole relationship is a mess. But he says if I ever leave him he will kill himself. What should I do?

Tell him to get on with it. This is emotional blackmail of the very worst kind. He is asking you to forgo your own life in favour of his. Now, chances are he won't do it. Or he'll take a half hearted overdose of a tame painkiller. We all know the people who go on about it are rarely those who actually do it. But I think in your own mind you need to distance your actions from being a direct cause of his. Should this man be unable to live without you, that is a failing in him, not in you. If he does decide to kill himself it is his own autonomous choice and no blame can be attributed to you.

I understand that guilt is a very natural emotion and though in your situation I would experience none whatsoever, I appreciate that you have cared for this man and do not wish him to come to harm. But ultimately each of us lives our life alone. We make our own choices and it is up to each of us to take responsibility for the choices we make. Sometimes we have to step back and let people make their own choices, even when those choices are not the right ones.

I sound harsh, I know but I urge you to live your life for you and let this man stand or fall by his own hand.

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