QUESTION I don't know how to put into words exactly what I need to know. I have always been searching for a spiritual path that I can fully buy into but it's not easy to find.
Brought up a Catholic, I soon lapsed in my teenage years, I then was more interested in eastern beliefs, spiritualism and also UFOs, ancient Egyptian and Tibetan beliefs.
I wasn't a nut, just unsatisfied and hard to convince. In the 1980s I was actually baptised into a Pentecostal fellowship, I found them to be real believers and believers that expected things to happen, healings etc. They were very kind strong people, however I still had reservations (which made me feel guilty).
In the 90s I found myself drawn more towards native american beliefs and their way of life.
I suppose this is because from a small child I have always loved nature.
Over the past few years I have been interested in Celtic/Druid/wiccan beliefs and how they are comparable to native american and other old ways.
Anyway, I do have a bit of a problem with deities gods and goddesses. I have tried thinking of them as Archetypes or representations of dualistic powers, but when I feel the need to pray or ask for something I really feel a bit lost. I have been reading some of your thoughts/blogs and can see you are very intelligent and sure of your beliefs. Can the craft be the path I seek? I really need to have a spiritual life that I am comfortable with and one that works. Your thoughts or help would be much appreciated.
Forgot to say, I'm 59 and work in IT.
ANSWER - Your experience of different religions may have been a little frustrating but what it has done is give you a solid foundation of what you believe is necessary for your own personal path. You now know what doesn't work for you which is a significant step toward finding the path that does work for you.
In rejecting both Catholicism and the Pentecostal beliefs you have discovered that a strict religious framework is likely not a path that feels right to you. However, your deep personal interest in Spiritualism and the slightly looser interests such as UFOs suggest you have an open mind and are willing to look for a path that fits more with your own thoughts than the imposed beliefs of others.
So do I believe that the craft could be the right path for you? Yes and I'll explain why. Witchcraft itself is of course a secular path, the religion is as I am sure you are aware Wicca. I'm guessing your reference to worship of the Gods indicates a leaning toward the Wiccan religion. However the fact that you are struggling to establish a relationship with the Gods may be an indication that that part of your path needs to come later and putting some basics in place to establish a core foundation for your beliefs might be the best first step.
In starting a craft path you would be advised to focus on the immediate impact of whether it feels right for you. Think not so much about the ultimate end goals but ask yourself the simpler question – does this satisfy my spirituality on a daily basis? If it works, chances are its worth progressing. If it doesn't work on a day to day basis then it won't be the path that leads to your own self enlightenment.
I think your previous seeking has been looking for a path that ticks all the boxes but unless you are prepared to put in the groundwork and commit to your path before you get the pay off of knowing its the right destination to be travelling towards then you may never progress beyond the seeking stage. It is this commitment and dedication that will help you to create your relationship with the deities as you will have proven your sincerity to communicate with them. I think the craft is worth you exploring because the primary difference between a craft path and a path of conventional religion is the freedom to shape your own way forward. As a Catholic you followed the dictates of others, as a witch/pagan you are creating your own destiny and carving out your own path that works for you. You've spent a lot of time looking for the right path but my advice to you is to go ahead and make that path. Nothing will work better for you than a path you have created for yourself. Paganism and/or the craft will give you the freedom to do exactly that.
P.S You work in IT? I'm keeping your email address in case I need any computer advice!
Image http://www.deviantart.com/art/Wicca-78766258 (avrilfanforever)
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