QUESTION - Thank you for being here, I know that my life is so much more - more than being a Christian and talking in "tongues". My life is magick more than anybody can know. It is about living life and raising live stock and in return the taking of life - chickens cows pigs... but also respecting and caring for the life that is sacrificed for me. Being a rancher (or farmer) I love animals but respect what they give us.
I am more than I seem.. but I'm not sure what that is. I have felt this way since I can remember and I connect with the pagan views as though it is my soul but I lack any guidance. I MUST GROW AND LEARN or I feel my soul will burst... can you help?
ANSWER - I'd say you were well on your way to walking a Pagan path. You have a life that fits with the changes in the earth and the seasons and a thirst for development that transcends the mundane . You are not allowing yourself to become immersed in (and consequently stifled by) routine. You want more - that is very evident from your question. What you appear to be less certain of is how to get that more.
It strikes me that what you are thirsting for is knowledge. This makes you different from a lot of the people who write to Ask a Witch a Question - in most cases those starting out on their spiritual journey are almost intimidated by their access to information and knowledge. They have facts at their disposal but often lack the understanding of how to translate those facts into an innate spirituality. You seem the opposite - you have the understanding of how to embrace nature at the fundamental level but you are struggling to fit the intuitive behaviours and lifestyle you already have into a more structured framework of practise.
The first thing you can do is to develop an understanding of what you already do in a wider context. Think about the things you do that have become routine and try to understand why you do them. Use the routine tasks to stimulate a meditative train of thought. Think about how being a farmer helps you connect with the land, with the animals you work with. Consider how your ancestors might have farmed differently. Think about the technologies and techniques you are privy to in the 21st century and how things might have been different 100 years ago. By taking the nature of your life and pushing your understanding of what you do further you are entering into the philosophy of what it is that you do. This will achieve two things - it will stimulate you mentally and it will help you appreciate your role in the cycle of nature. Both will help as your progress further on your chosen path.
I also think you would benefit from sharing your journey with other people. I appreciate this isn't always easy in some parts of the world but there are forums, pages, websites - a wealth of like minded people out there who can walk the path a little way with you. I say this because I pick up a real frustration in your desire to get on with things now and you would get more of that immediacy and sense of moving forward from talking with others than you would sitting on your own with a book.
That said there are some good books that will help you get started (and quench some of that thirst for knowledge hopefully). This site is mainly Wiccan but has some good free books on it. This site has some more Pagan based literature along with some books on Druidry which might appeal given your affinity with nature.
In terms of getting to know people - This forum is very Pagan focused and very welcoming to newbies. You will find lots of different boards and blogs with a real emphasis on getting to know you. Put yourself out there and get chatting to people on the same boat. Sometimes just knowing you're not alone on your journey forward can make all the difference.
Join the Witch Path Forward Facebook community. (Click the icon).
Changing your path/religion/way of life can be a time in your life when you need a bit of support. The purpose of this site is to offer a helping hand and a starting point to explore all the information available on the net.