ANSWER: Firstly, my apologies for reducing your text to a manageable size. I think I’ve kept everything important to answering your questions but please feel free to email back if there’s something I missed.
There’s a fair bit to unpack in your message so I shall start with feeling God’s spirit in nature. Paganism is largely about just that, except we might call it the Divine, attribute it to a god from whichever Pantheon we follow, or we might see that nature is god itself. I think your way of putting it is just as valid as ours – it just uses a slightly different focus and language.
Where to start is a question we get asked a lot, and there will be other answers to that question on our site but here’s mine for good measure. My best advice is to remember what it was like to be a child. There’s no hard and fast rules for this, you’re going to make them as you go along so be open to anything because you’ll never know when you’ll find the thing that fits you best. To do that you need to bring forward your childish curiosity and awe in the world. Don’t be afraid to explore, poke your nose in lots of places, read voraciously and widely if possible and don’t forget there is a wealth of information and experience available on the internet to wander through too. Your actual starting point doesn’t matter, go with whatever you are drawn to. My next best piece would be to be careful too, use your intuition and if something doesn’t feel right then walk away. Anyone/any institution asking for a huge amount of money, professing themselves to be some sort of guru or promising something that sounds unrealistic or too good to be true are usually warning signs to leave them alone. The first skills to learn when beginning a witchcraft path (whichever you choose) is to learn how to ground, centre and protect yourself. This will keep you rooted in the real world, sure of who you are and protected from anyone with ill intent towards you.
I can assure you that it IS all in your head and that is perfectly alright. The truth is that everything you see as real is experienced through your brain in one way or another. After all, 10 people can witness the same accident, and all have slightly different stories. We all see and create our reality within our own minds so that sense you get is in your head, and so it should be – but it is also something else. It’s something many people across the planet feel and experience just as you do. We might explain it differently somehow and our stories may seem far from each other, but it’s the same thing we’re connecting into wherever we are and however we explain it.
There are spells that can bring you closer to nature but while you are at the beginning of your path I would suggest simply spending as much time as you can in nature. Again, use your inner child to explore, wonder and learn about the world around you. Your connection will naturally deepen the more time you spend there. If you feel working closely with nature is your calling, then begin to explore the natural world through whatever means is accessible to you. Read, watch, learn, go out there and explore and then when you’re ready, go deeper into that world and find other ways of exploring.
I hope this helps and you find your first step.