Question – I want to banish an abusive person from my life/family/home. Which ritual spell should I try? The person is my mother’s boyfriend who has in the past been very abusive both emotionally and verbally and once even physically to me and to her. I have tried to get the cops and protective services involved in the past but they never do anything about it as they claim there isn’t enough proof. My Mom hasn’t left him because he pays the bills and she is on disability. Living in this house is like living in a war zone with all their constant arguing and screaming and recently my Mom has even found out that he has been cheating on her. She always claims she is going to leave him but never does. Do you have any suggestions?
ANSWER - I do have some banishing suggestions, yes, but before we look at those I think you need to consider the practical solutions here too. You say you are between 16-20 in your full question and I do believe there are protective services who will take you seriously if you are a minor living under the threat of physical or verbal aggression. If you are at school, college or university your first step needs to be your teacher or personal tutor. You should also have access to counselling facilities in education faculties and they should be able to help put you in touch with the right people.
I’ve had a look at some of the groups in the United States who may be able to offer support – please do check these out before undertaking any spell work. Magic is an effective tool but it is never more effective than when used in combination with practical and mundane techniques. Any witch who overlooks the practical solutions is limiting the extent of her own power. Simple things work.
Links for support help groups in the US:
I’d also suggest you have a full and frank talk with your mother. Her feelings aside, does she know what this relationship is doing to you? She may not realise how unhappy this home situation is making you. She may be happy to stay for her own sake but unwilling to make you as unhappy as you obviously are. But she won’t know unless you tell her. If she is still unwilling to leave then have you any alternatives? Have you aunts/uncles/siblings/grandparents you could go stay with for a while? Perhaps if your mother knew you this is affecting you so much that you are even considering moving out then it might give her the shove she needs to leave him.
In terms of using magic to help this situation – it isn’t really banishing spells that you want. What you really need in my opinion is a working to make him feel very uncomfortable in the house - almost for the house to become so oppressive he cannot bear to live there any more. An ideal working would get the house to reject him. What I would do is to get a representation of him (should be easy enough if you live with him, a bit of his hair stuck into a lump of plasticine will make an ideal personalised poppet). Then be creative - get a small cardboard box and mock up a rough model of your house. Name the house, write the address on it and set up a clear link in your mind that your model is a true representation of the house. Place the poppet inside the house and then tie a piece of rope (or even a belt) loosely around it, Every day refresh your visualisation of the link between the model house and your actual house and tighten the fastening round the house a little more. Focus your energies into imagining the house becoming smaller and darker and increasingly more oppressive. Keep repeating and refocusing.
I'd also suggest that to support the above you mark the house in a territorial fashion as belonging to yourself and your mother. Usually anointing the house door ways is the best way to do this. Dilute blended urine (with added fresh herbs if you are worried about the smell) is ideal for this. However in your situation as you are targeting a specific person I would focus on marking the areas he sees as belonging to him (favourite chair, office etc...). As you smear your fluid concoction on visualise yourself staking a claim on what he sees as his areas. Focus on the image of him leaving the house and feeling he no longer belongs.
Finally you could consider a working to sever the relationship between this man and your mother. I'd do this almost as a reversal of a handfasting. Take a piece of ribbon and tie at one end a representation of him and the other end a representation of your mother. Visualise the ribbon as a symbol of the link between them. Then sever the link. How good this spell performs is dependent on how strongly you visualise the link and the breaking. I'd also caution that many relationships limp on even when the link is broken so be aware of the danger that this may make things worse but not necessarily get rid of him...
(Quick note here to handfasted Pagans - can you imagine how well this spell would work if someone got their hands on your actual handfasting ribbon, lol. Good idea to keep that somewhere safe!)