My son came stumbling into the room having been startled awake, asking me what's wrong. I kept repeating someone's in the room, touching me, pulling down the covers. He tells me the covers are up and there's no one there. I grabbed my blanket realizing I'd woken him and stumbled into his room up onto his bed at the bottom to try to silence my tears so he can go back to sleep, but really wanting to burst. He tried to console me for a few seconds before drifting off, but I pretended to be asleep. already.
I've had nightmares that felt "real" but this was different. I swear to you what I felt was real. The covers did not seem to have been been moved unless I pulled them back up which I vaguely remember doing...I think.
I have never felt uncomfortable in my home this whole time. I don't know if I do now or not, I haven't had time today to think about it.
What do you think? Am I crazy? Anxiety-ridden? or is there a chance this was real and my fault?
Both the question and the answer here are abridged from private correspondence, the individual concerned agreed to the publication as I suggested the discussion may have value for others as well. The only background you need to know is that the individual has been very concerned about her son and has called upon external sources of help to support her.
It sounds to me that in your desperation to help your son you tapped into an ability you haven't consciously used before and called upon spirit energies to help him. For all the earnest assurances on the internet that results can only be obtained with the right tools at the right time the truth is that we are all capable of far greater power when in desperate need. Think the mothers who temporarily gain the strength to lift cars off their children. Adrenaline is as powerful a conduit of magic as it is of any physical force. It is my belief that the anxiety and stress gave you the extra push to make spirit contact feasible.
Now let's assume I'm right. The other options seem fairly implausible. There's no other evidence to suggest you have mental problems, you've discounted the idea of a nightmare yourself and although hallucination through anxiety is a possibility hallucinations usually manifest themselves in a more dramatic manner. Factor in the fact that you were consciously trying to mentally reach out to entities beyond your own consciousness and it seems reasonable to deduce that you succeeded.
It's plausible to believe that in the state you were in you managed to make contact with a spirit but there is nothing you have told me that would suggest that spirit isn't benign. Think about it, you're crying out for help and you're clearly summoning - albeit it subconsciously. You're asking for help and comfort and I think that is what you were being given. Unfortunately though a physical spirit manifestation can be very startling (you should have seen my face the night one came and sat on my bed) and you were understandably frightened.
I don't see any reason why logically you should feel uncomfortable in your home though I do understand why the experience has left you shaken. But you made contact in a very heightened state of emotion and it is unlikely the experience will be repeated unless you choose to deliberately make contact again. You ask if it is your “fault” but blame isn't really relevant here. It's simple cause and affect - yes your actions caused the contact but there was no harm involved in doing so. The only negative consequences were those of your own fear which is as I say more than understandable given your lack of experience with the spirit world.