I think a lot of us, if we are honest, are initially a little bit more interested in the side of magic that has that forbidden feeling to it. Its just human nature. I will certainly admit that when I first started studying witchcraft, I was reading all sorts about cursing and hexing, things that, as it turned out, play a very small part in what I actually do. Possibly we associate these things with the forbidden because we’ve been brought up in an environment that frowns upon them. Certainly a traditional Christian upbringing will have encouraged you to turn the other cheek rather than hex the living daylights out of those who annoy you.
So currently, you’re drawn to witchcraft and it has opened a lot of doors and put a big bunch of possibilities on the table. Is it surprising that you’re going for the more controversial bits first? Think of this as an analogy - your mate comes over, tips a huge pile of dvs on your kitchen table and tells you to help yourself. Well, if you’re anything like me you will sift through and immediately look for the naughty ones and the gory ones. They might not be the best films, they might not be the ones you find yourself watching over and over again but they are the ones you are instantly drawn to. (My favourite film is still Gone with the Wind and there isn’t a naughty moment in the whole four hours…). Over time, you’ll get bored with the naughties and the gore and you’ll look for something with less immediate appeal but with more long term gratification.
And it’s the same with Witchcraft, you’re pulling out the shinies at the moment, the new stuff, the stuff you probably haven’t come across before. And its exciting and it appeals to you. But long term it won’t hold your interest unless you balance it out with other things.
I’m a big believer in natural balance and I believe that everyone one of us has a balance of light and dark in our personalities. So no, I don’t think you are either a bad person or a dark witch because you have an interest in the darker side of magic.
In terms of how can you focus on the light…Well I wouldn’t focus exclusively on anything at the moment if I were you. Just read, learn and absorb. Your own path will start to become clearer as you learn and understand more. And your path won’t be a dark one or a light one, it will be a blend that reflects the core of yourself which, as with anyone, is more complex than a simple label of light or dark.