ANSWER – It could be a multitude of things ranging from the mundane to serious magical infiltration. Probably the best thing to do is to explore a few options and see if anything resonates with you as being a sound explanation.
Starting at the mundane end of the scale (and I always believe in considering the simple practical options before looking toward more complex solutions) it is certainly possible that thrashing around in your bed with restless sleeping patterns could cause a certain amount of accidental harm to yourself. Now the warmer weather has kicked in sleeping patterns do change and become less peaceful and even in the sleeping circumstances you describe it is not out of the realms of possibility to suppose the scratching and bruising is self inflicted. If I were to continue with a very mundane explanation I would consider the possibility that it is a coincidence that your boyfriend is suffering the same.
Not remembering your dreams incidentally is very common. Recalling a dream is by far the exception rather than the rule.
My second mundane explanation would be to consider if you have both seen any films or read any books recently that have got into your subconscious mind. I don’t mean you are deluding yourself about the symptoms you describe, more that the symptoms could be psychosomatic and brought upon by something that has frightened you or stimulated your mind. The mind is capable of playing some funny tricks and is certainly capable of translating fear into physical damage. It would be worth having a discussion to see if anything you have watched/read together has had a profound impact on you both.
Now I’m not entirely satisfied with the mundane explanations as I don’t think it takes into account fully the fact that you are both scared to go to sleep. I’d be interested to know what state your relationship is in at the moment. You say it is a long distance relationship? That often brings a lot of stress for two people who want to be but cannot be together. It is possible that the stress and agitation is leading you both toward subconscious (albeit it light) self harm in your sleep. Sleep is often difficult for people who are under pressure because the body has to relax a certain amount to get into the sleeping state. Adrenaline fuelled stress can make it hard to unwind. We also become very emotionally vulnerable as we relax and the thoughts we are able to keep at bay during the day come to haunt us in our sleep. If you are both repressing worries during your waking hours I would hazard a guess that those worries are being played out in your dreams, making you very wary on a subconscious level of going to sleep and having to face the things that worry you.
The fact that it is happening to both of you does obviously suggest that the two experiences are linked and the likeliest way to my mind of this happening is that you are projecting into each other’s dreams. Again this is very consistent with the desire to be together but being physically apart. I could offer two suggestions here – firstly that you are having very passionate intimate moments across the astral which is leading to tangible marks on the physical body. Secondly on a less positive note I’d consider that there are some issue in your relationship that are not being spoken about when you are awake and you are taking your frustrations out on one another while you are asleep. You are in a better position than me to answer that one. For my money I’d say the explanation of astral travel (be it for passionate or frustrated purposes) is the most likely.
It would be very natural to wonder if you have attracted the attention of a hostile spirit who is seeking to harm you. It’s unlikely though – perhaps if you are both in the habit of using Ouija boards or visiting séances and have deliberately left doors open to invite this sort of activity, but otherwise it is unlikely. You are in two different locations so it cannot be a place orientated spirit. I’d also struggle to see what motivation any malign spirit would have to attack you in this manner. I’d pretty much discount spirit activity as an explanation. Generally our subconscious minds tend to be capable of wreaking a lot more havoc and fear than low level spirits anyway.
Now in terms of what you can do – it really depends on which explanation you believe is closest to the truth. Your Wiccan friends are not wrong to suggest some kind of protective charm but they seem to be very much jumping to the conclusion that you are being attacked by an external force whereas I would be more inclined to see this as something you are doing to yourselves or each other. My first suggestion would be you have a frank talk about your relationship and try to iron out any difficulties between you. If the dreams are caused by stress this should help ease the pressure and therefore the manifestations of that pressure.
In a similar vein I think you both need to learn how to relax outside the bedroom. You need to spend some time in your own heads without distraction and to understand not to fear opening yourself up to the thoughts you are probably suppressing. Some gentle meditation in an environment that soothes the senses (incense, candles, music etc) would help you open up to anything playing on your mind. It may also take away the fear of letting yourself go enough to sleep.
I’d suggest you keep a notebook by the bed and write down anything you remember about your dreams, no matter how disjointed. Sometimes our dreams have messages for us. If you can piece together enough to work out what the dreams are about you will be halfway toward identifying and therefore curing the problem.
Might be worth setting a video camera up in the bedroom. Note I am NOT expecting anything like that silly Paranormal Activity film here! I am thinking much more along the lines that people don’t always realise what a strenuous activity sleep can be and you may find it reassuring to watch just how much you do roll and thrash around in your sleep. It may help you understand just how easy it is to hurt yourself accidentally…
In terms of protection – well it certainly can’t hurt. A simple scattering of salt across the threshold of the room you sleep in (and the window) will act as a deterrent on the off chance this is an external threat. If you are a believer in deity you may wish to ask the Gods to bless some water and anoint yourself with it before sleeping. Crystals can help you to relax – A small piece of Selenite under your pillow can work wonders. Lighting a white candle at the highest point of the room is a common method of protection. If you have an oil burner a few drops of Pine oil will promote banishing anything dodgy. Wear a piece of black Jasper for personal protection.
Let me know how it goes.