I think it is important to differentiate between a soul mate and a romantic partner (although of course the two can overlap). Popular romantic fiction tends to depict a soul mate as someone who is destined to be your partner for this lifetime - or as the Wikipedia defines it: A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, friendship, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, or compatibility and trust.
There is another definition of the soul mate and as you've chosen to ask your question to a witch I'm assuming you are more interested in this concept of the soul mate from a reincarnation perspective. Generally this definition means somebody who makes regular connection with your soul over multiple incarnations. This doesn't mean they are always your lover although there may be times when the link between you is romantic. They may come back as a parent, a friend, a colleague or even someone with whom an encounter is fleeting like the stranger you meet on a train. There may also be lifetimes when one soul is resting and the soul mates do not meet.
Some people believe there is a purpose to these interactions while others believe close souls are simply drawn to one another and seek each other out in each lifetime. As for how you recognise a soul mate I would suggest they are recognisable from the benefit they bring to your life. If somebody points you in the right direction, gives you advice that enables you to progress in a positive direction or unfailingly manages to turn up with an intuitive knowledge of knowing they are needed then this could be a strong indication that this person is your soul mate.
I'd also add (and this one is from personal experience) that a soul mate will not be easily deterred. Trivial arguments and disagreements will not end their association with you. You might question their purpose in your life but you will be aware of a connection that goes deeper than friendship or interests in common and often the result is an alliance with an intense longevity.
There are many lists on the internet suggesting ways to recognise a soul mate (sadly most of them are rubbish) but there are a couple of good ideas in this one if you are after specifics.
QUESTION - Most of my life I have felt like I didn't fit in in this world. Now I am older I feel like I should not be here. I feel I have an old soul that loves knowledge and that the things I say and how I say them are not meant for this lifetime. I'm a pretty blunt person and people don't understand me. I can say something of what will happen in the world and friends and family just think I'm crazy but then a few years will pass and the world becomes exactly how I said it would become and for these reasons I feel I have an old soul of knowledge. I am curious for your opinion - Is my soul old and am i meant for today's world?
ANSWER - I'm going to make the assumption from what you say here that you believe in reincarnation. So rather than debating whether reincarnation is true or not, we'll assume for the purpose of this question that it is and explore what you ask from there.
I have to be honest - you come across as rather egotistical with the suggestion that you may be too wise for the modern world. That may not be precisely what you intended to say but it is a dangerous step toward a slippery slope of thinking. Once we start to believe that we know everything and have nothing to learn from others then we fail to grow as people and we fail to take advantage of all the opportunities each incarnation has to offer us. The most common interpretations of reincarnation involve the idea that the soul learns a new lesson in each of its times on the earth. If you fail to look for the lesson - and part of that is seeking the wisdom of others - then I'd suggest you are not making the most of being here this time.
You say people don't understand you but you do not say what steps you have taken to promote understanding between you and them. To truly make the most of each life you need to make an effort to understand others and be understood. Taking the lofty view that people don't understand you is negating your own responsibility to help people to understand you. Anybody can claim to be misunderstood, there is far more value in building relationships with others and looking for ways to understand and learn from what each other believes. It interests me that you describe yourself as a blunt person - bluntness can of course be an exceptionally honest quality but it can also be an indication of lack of tact with regard to the feelings of others. Think hard about whether being more conscious of the feelings of other people could be the lesson you need to learn in this lifetime.
Precognition incidentally is relatively commonplace - I have no doubt that you get an occasional glimpse into the future but I wouldn't take that as evidence that you have nothing left to learn. Beware of falling into the trap of thinking that just because you are gifted in one area you have no ignorance in others.
I appreciate I'm being quite harsh with you but I genuinely think that instead of pondering whether you do fit into today's world you need to make the effort to fit in and to seek out the things you can learn from the world and the people you share it with. You may well be an old soul who has gone round the reincarnation block a few times but that doesn't mean you won't learn something new each time you do come back. And equally if you have all this knowledge and wisdom - get out there and start sharing it. Find a meaning in your life by helping others. That really will bring some value to this incarnation.
The concept of being "meant" for something implies a certain amount of predestination and while I'm not entirely opposed to the idea that some things are meant to be I think far more of our lives are governed by choice and personal direction.
You ask if you are meant to be a witch. I think you are phrasing the question with too much emphasis on predetermination and not enough on what you want or what feels right to you. Do you feel called to witchcraft? Do you think your natural gifts and personality would be a good fit for the craft? Have you looked into witchcraft enough to know what it is, what it involves and if is something that you can see yourself committing to?
Sometimes life does give us a shove in a definite direction and I've spoken to several witches who have been open on the subject of how negative circumstances in their life have led to them starting to practise witchcraft and taking back the power in their lives for themselves. If you feel your life is guiding you toward a craft path then it is certainly something to consider seriously. But ultimately practising the craft is a choice and it is up to you whether you want to pursue the path of a witch or not.
QUESTION - Do you have to be born a witch or is it something you can learn, like learning about Paganism or Wicca?
ANSWER - Funnily enough I was discussing this the other day with a witch who is a close friend of mine - I was trying to persuade her to wrote an article for the site and she said she would but her fundamental belief that a witch is born and not made differs very much from my belief that a witch is someone who chooses to practise - and she didn't want to offend the readers. This serves to prove what I always say - it is rare to find witches agreeing on anything! This topic in particular always attracts strong opinions on either side of the fence.
I think it is important to present a balanced viewpoint rather than just sharing my own viewpoint and so I do acknowledge that there are a lot of witches who hold the belief that in order to consider yourself a witch you do have to have witchcraft in your bloodline. This view however is a tricky one to uphold as many people may have witchcraft further back in their lineage than they are able to trace. There is also the problem that there may have been "natural witches" in the bloodline who refused to acknowledge their craft or who kept it hidden. So the difficulty is that even if you do believe a witch must be born and not made it is hard to know for certain if you do have a history of witchcraft in your family tree.
There is another school of thought that witchcraft is not necessarily hereditary but an innate gift that some are born with and that those not born with a such a gift cannot "become" a witch. Again this view is hard to prove. Who decides how the gift of witchcraft should manifest itself? There is no simple test to determine the nature of a witch. Anybody could make claim to being born a natural witch and it would be hard to prove they were wrong, lying or deluded.
My own view is that "witch" is a descriptor not of what a person is but what a person does.I see a witch as simply being somebody who practises witchcraft. This view has been established from my own experiences of knowing both "natural" and self taught witches and seeing very little difference in the ability, skills and dedication between the two types.
So no - I do not believe you do have too be born a witch too be a witch. I think you need to understand what witchcraft is and commit to the study and practise of it but to my mind that is all that is necessary to become a witch.
Similar questions asked here and here which may illuminate the issue further for you
QUESTION - My mother is a witch (she doesn't know that I know), is it possible for me to have inherited an ability toward spells without doing so on purpose? Also, I believe she uses her craft for personal gain, can this knowledge help me determine what kind of witch she is, and is it possible for me to determine is she has cursed me? Any information would be of help to me. I am fearful of her.
ANSWER - While not every witch can trace her lineage back to another witch it is generally acknowledged that an aptitude for witchcraft can be passed down a bloodline. It is important to make the distinction between being "born" a witch and being born with a natural disposition toward using the gifts associated with witchcraft. Simply put - you are not a witch until you practise witchcraft.
It is certainly possible that if your mother is a practising witch you may have inherited some degree of ability from her. However these gifts will not develop unless you actively seek to practise and work with them. You say that you fear this woman so with this in mind it may well be a good idea to start working some basic spells and protective magics as it may have the dual benefit of reducing your fear and also getting some tangible defence between your mother and yourself.
It is hard to pin down what type of witch your mother is with the information you've provided. I'm assuming you want to know if she is likely to practise the kind of aggressive magic that may cause harm to others. Unfortunately the fact that she practises magic in her own self interests isn't proof that she would choose to take this further to the extent of targeting others with her magic. Most witches - even the whitest of Wiccans will use magic to some degree for personal gain. But - try to think about what kind of personal gain your mother uses magic for. A witch who casts to maximise her own luck, ability and circumstances may have a very different moral outlook to a witch who casts to reduce those of another. Take as an example the magic used in getting a job. One witch may employ magic to prove her own chances of success, another might take the opportunity to make all the other candidates appear less attractive. Both spells could be classed as personal gain but there is a clear difference in the morality of the casters.
As with most spells the proof of the pudding is in the eating and by this I mean the best way to determine if you have been cursed is to assess any evidence that may support a cursing, A serious curse may have implications in every area of your life. If your love life, your health and your job have all taken a serious turn for the worse then it is possible that she has placed a curse on you. If however you have noted no noticeable change in any of the areas in your life then either she has not cursed you or she's not very good at cursing.
I do think it is important to distinguish between a run of bad luck and the natural peaks and troughs that all of us go through in our lives. Think rationally - is your life falling to pieces with no obvious cause? Try not to attribute natural lifecycles to magic. Only if everything is inexplicably and significantly wrong would I advise seriously considering the fact that you have been cursed.
Could you not try and have a conversation about this with your mother? I appreciate that given the nature of your question the relationship between the two of you probably isn't great but she might respond to your interest in witchcraft - especially if you are feeling called to a similar path yourself - I wonder if this might
be a way of getting to know her on a deeper level and one which may help to put some of your fears to bay? I don't think I or anyone else can presume to advise you on this without being party to a lot more information about the history of the relationship between you and your mother but I would suggest you give some consideration to having an open conversation with her about what she does and the gifts you may have inherited from her.
(If after thinking this all through you do genuinely feel you may have had a curse placed on you - send me another question and we will address how to best tackle the problem).
QUESTION - My nephew last night told me there was a spirit in the house I'm staying in right now and I was wondering if you could tell me if I'm in any real danger and if I should try communicating with this spirit?
ANSWER - Contrary to popular depictions in fiction - the presence of a spirit
in the home presents very little threat to the inhabitants. Most people occupying a house with a place spirit in residence are unaware even that they are sharing their home. The impact of a spirit inhabitant is pretty low and especially in homes without children or animals present spirits and humans can live quite happily side by side having very little to do with one another.
That said, part of the reason that spirits tend to be benign toward the mortals they share a house with is due to the fact that unobservance//indifference causes the spirit very little difficulty. Repeated forced attempts to interact with a spirit may well change its attitude toward those it house shares with. Botched exorcisms, relentless ouija board sessions and a general lack of respect for the privacy of the spirit may either encourage it to move somewhere else or turn it antagonistic toward its housemates.
If a spirit hasn't made an effort to draw attention to its presence then likely it has a valid reason for not choosing to do so and it may well not appreciate this distance being breached by even the most well intentioned of communications.
I do not think there is anything wrong with indicating a willingness to communicate and in my opinion this is not likely to put you in a position of danger. What I do suggest though is that once you have initiated this contact attempt you leave any further interaction to the spirit and do not persist or attempt to press the spirit into a response. I would do something very simple - a clearly voiced respectful address to the room in which you have been advised the spirit frequents. Introduce yourself, thank the spirit for its presence and state that you would be interested in making further contact. Leave it there - if it wants to communicate you will know soon enough. If it doesn't - no harm done.
I wouldn't be alarmed that you happen to have a spirit in your home. They are far more common than most people think. What is not so common is the ability to perceive them. So in this case it is actually your nephew and not the spirit who is the interesting factor in your story. I'm presuming he is young - children do seem to be much better at seeing beyond the veil than adults who have learned scepticism and become entrenched in the mundane. Don't dwell on his sighting - children are not naturally frightened of spirits but can easily become frightened if they pick up and sense that response in adults. Treat the child similarly to the spirit in fact - make it clear the doors of communication are open and then leave it for both the child and/or the spirit to come to you if they want to.
And as I say, don't be frightened, there is no reason at all to assume the spirit means you any harm and I'm sure from what you say it doesn't.
QUESTION - I've been considering witchcraft recently and have been doing a lot of research on witchcraft and other related things. But during my research there was the mention of using my own blood. Is using my blood going to be an absolute? My family is religious, with the exception of my parents and I, but I was still always warned against ever using my own blood, because it could be dangerous. Is this also true?
ANSWER - It depends on how it is used. I think it is important to be absolutely clear that the use of blood is not a necessary part of what it is to be a witch. Many witches (especially Wiccan witches) do not work with blood at all. This is a personal choice and certainly does not make an individual less of a witch.
Blood can be used for many purposes in spell work. It can be used to bring individual energy to a working, it can be used to invoke protection (I know more than one witch who has a drop of her own blood in a locket worn by her child) and it can be used as a sacrifice or offering when calling upon a higher power. Blood can also be used to forge and bind a connection - I, for example, have bonded my ritual knife to myself with the linking of my own blood (this is a practise no Wiccan witch would ever get involved in). Blood has a wide range of uses and individual purposes and - distasteful as the use may appear to a non witch - the benefits can most definitely outweigh any initial squickiness.
In terms of whether the use of blood can be dangerous. Yes it can be. There are three primary ways that I would caution against using your own blood. The first is using your own blood to bring life to a poppet or doll that may fall into the wrong hands. If you share your lifeblood with an inanimate object with the intention of giving it "life" be aware that somebody who knows what they are doing could use that object to cause you direct harm. If you invest your blood into anything, ensure you are in a position to keep the object secure. If in doubt - don't.
The same warning goes for using your own blood as a taglock in spells. I've heard of a few cases where a witch has used her own blood as a taglock for hexing in her own bloodline and let me tell you, that isn't a great idea at all. Messy... For something like that you'd be better off using a photo or even a name written on a piece of paper as a taglock. Keep your own blood out of it.
I'd also suggest that anybody who doesn't comfortably know what they are doing avoids the use of blood in invocation. Don't offer your blood to any spirit/demon/entity who asks for it in exchange for their assistance. There is a school of thought that using blood can tether a spirit to you and while I find this to be a bit fantasy novel thinking for my tastes it isn't worth the risk if you do happen to encounter anything wanting a blood sacrifice. (Summoning in general, blood sacrifice or otherwise I'd avoid to be honest.)
In summary - blood workings may often be stigmatised by the general public as "dark magic" but in truth blood is just another magical ingredient readily accessible to the witch. The dangers of using blood come from creating a link to yourself and not from any danger intrinsic to the blood itself. Whether you choose to use blood or not is the choice of the individual and each witch will make this decision for herself.
QUESTION - I was born with a few gifts my soul was complete until one day I fell and got bad concussion. I was laying in bed and when asleep I saw my body lying there then a figure appeared said it's not my time and I woke up and after that things went wrong. I noticed that the gifts I was born with were not there (so my question is will I ever get them back ) my soul does not feel whole without them please help.
ANSWER - There are a couple of ways of looking at this. The simplest would be that when you injured yourself in getting the concussion you also suffered a small amount of brain damage which prevented your brain from being able to conduct some of the more complex functions it could prior to your injury. It's hard to be too precise as you don't mention specifically what the gifts are but a small amount of damage to the brain could certainly inhibit instinctive and possibly even precognitive gifts.
If the loss of your gifts was caused by brain damage then that is not to say the loss is permanent. Sometimes the brain can recover over time. This (to the best of my knowledge) hasn't been tested with what we might term spiritual gifts but it has been tested with basic functions such as speech. Speech therapists will work with brain damaged patients using oral motor exercises to help them to recover their ability to speak. Basically they are encouraging patients to practise the skills they once had so I'd suggest that might be something worth doing in your case as well. Instead of waiting for your gifts to come back, consciously work with the gifts you once had and see if repeated effort helps your brain to regain them.
The other explanation I could offer is that your mind (not your brain) has gone into overload at the double impact of your injury and your close to death experience and as a result it has gone into a temporary
shock which has reduced the capacity of some of your gifts. This would be quite a natural reaction to what you have gone through and unlikely to be a permanent reaction. Giving yourself time to come to terms with your experience and gradually practising with your gifts (as discussed) above should gently coax your brain back toward the abilities you used to have.
Before I answer this I want to point out that although many witches do follow the lunar cycle when creating their magic there are also many who pay it little heed. There is a lot of emphasis in modern books on witchcraft stating spells need to be done on this or that day or this or that moon phase and this inflexible attitude to magic is both unnecessarily prescriptive and gives the false idea that there is a right/wrong way of casting.
The truth of course is that a witch will adopt her own way of casting and may happily contravene established correspondences to suit her own interpretations and beliefs. So although I can (and will in a minute) tell you what would be popularly considered the best phase of the moon to conduct a wealth spell, this isn't cast in stone. If your instinct urges you to cast at a different time - go with it.
Incidentally, I would never personally advocate delaying urgent magic to a different moon phase - if a spell needs doing as a matter of priority then little would be achieved by waiting for the moon to change before casting.
The best moon phase to complete a wealth spell would be the waxing moon. This is a period connected with change and growth .It is a time associated with actualising ideas and setting new projects in motion. Wealth spells can be aligned with the transition of the moon, to grow in strength until fruition at the peak of the full
Contrarily, spells involved with the decreasing of obstacles that prevent wealth would be better cast at the waning moon. This period, commonly associated with banishing can be utilised for the elimination and reduction of debts. Just as the growth of wealth can be linked to the waning moon,, the reduction of debt can be employed in spell work linked to the waning moon.
But as I say, it is all a matter of choice and perspective.
QUESTION - I was conceived during Litha while my parents were camping at Niagra falls. My mother didn’t know she had uterine cancer when she conceived. I was supposed to be born on March 17th (St. Patrick's Day), but didn't enter this world until May 8th, very close to Beltaine. I'd like to know if there is any significance to this, At 43, I am just now finally accepting who I am, as well as who my mother was.
ANSWER - I don’t mind telling you that the first thing I did after reading this question was to conduct some research as to whether an eleven month gestation period was actually possible for a human. It turns out that it is but it is rare. In many cases of unusually long pregnancies the woman has actually had a very early miscarriage and then conceived again without realising.
(You did mean Litha and not Lammas I take it? The period between Lammas and Beltane would be a much more usual nine month pregnancy)
Accepting that you didn’t make a mistake and that the pregnancy did last eleven months, I wish you had given me a bit more information as to why you believe this to be significant. Is it the length of the pregnancy, the date of conception or the fact that you were born a few days after Beltane that you are attaching the significance to? I’ve got to be honest – I think this is a case of mistaking coincidence for significance. Many people are conceived on Litha (and indeed all the other sabbats) every year but that doesn’t mean much beyond the fact that their parents chose to make love on a particular day. It's the same with giving birth – the sabbats are no different to any other day of the year. It may be nice for a witch to be born on a sabbat but there is nothing to suggest that a greater proportion of witches are conceived/born on sabbats. And when you start stretching it to being born “near” rather than on a sabbat any claim to significance just becomes too tenuous to be workable.
This does work the other way though – the fact that the date of your birth is irrelevant doesn’t mean you don’t have a genuine calling to witchcraft or whatever individual path you choose to pursue. I’m not knocking your calling, I’m cautioning against looking to find patterns for the sake of it. The simple truth is that some things do happen for no reason and as witches we need to accept that.
I’m extremely sorry to hear about your mother’s cancer and I hope she went on to make a full recovery. I’m glad you sound so positive about your journey of self discovery and I wish you all the best on your path.
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