QUESTION - So I don't know how to start this, but I've wanted help from a witch a long time ago. I am not sure about what I am, or if I actually am something (supernatural I mean). Let's start when I was little, ever since a child, I was fascinated with supernatural things. Whenever we'd watch a movie, my friends and sister would always want to be the fairies, but I found myself fitting in with the bad witches of the series, or the witches in general. My friends would always ask what creature do you want to be and I'd always say I wanted to be the witch. Also whenever Halloween would come up, I'd be excited since October 1st, let alone on 31st October, I'd be more happy than on my own birthday. And frankly I don't know why I was so excited. We never celebrated Halloween. My parents and grandparents are strictly very religious Christians (Orthodox) to be exact. They always thought of Halloween as a "devil" party, only Americans celebrated. My point is that they'd think I was stupid whenever I mentioned it. Also my parents never have and never will believe of the existence of supernatural creatures, like witches, vampires, werewolves, psychics or anything else. They think everyone who does believe them is a Satanist, and that's probably why I have mixed feelings about being a Wiccan, since I think I'll be betraying my religion and my parents' religion. So either way if I ever do become one I think I'll keep that as a secret, even if I want to proudly say I am one. Back to my long story, something really weird happened when I was around 3 or 4 maybe, I was climbing on the cupboards, (it was like 1 metre high) to take something my sister had hid from me, when I fell. That must've been a pretty high place, and the fall apparently made me pass out. My mother and sister said I was so close to dying, I don't know how to explain this in English, but when you fall or pass out your tongue kinda goes inside your throat, like it kinda falls inside so my mother had to put her fingers down my throat to catch it or else I'd die, then when I woke up my temperature had gone really high almost 42 degrees and maybe just a little higher , then when it finally settled down, it started dropping down to 35 degrees (celsius) so it was a pretty tiring process. My point is that I completely don't remember anything from my childhood since that "great" fall. Like they completely erased from my mind. The only stuff I remember are just some small glimpses of me climbing on the cupboard but they kinda seem forced, and when I ask my mom she always says to drop the subject and becomes tense, and I feel almost like she isn't telling me the full matter. But something else that I find like many people who are witches have experienced is that I remember flying around the living room when I was like 3 or 4 so perfect that I can swear it's so real. But as I grew up I came to terms that it was just some illusion or dream I have had.
I didn't start to practice witchcraft until i was 13, but even then I did some really bad spells, like how to become a vampire or mermaid or stuff like that. That was also the end of my "witchcraftness" till these last days when I was curious about what I am again. I read a lot of article about being a witch or if you are a natural witch and all of them fit my "symptoms". I know this will probably take up your whole day to read or you most probably won't even read at all and I apologize for this being so long but I've never had the chance to ask someone. So what do you think? Am I a witch, or just some desperate stupid human girl xD?
ANSWER – I don’t think a stupid person would be able to write such a lovely and thoughtful question so I’m happy to say I don’t think you are stupid at all. You do raise some good points and we’ll have a look to see what suggestions I can put forward for you.
(Incidentally your question about the language used to cast spells has been answered separately)
I think an interest in the supernatural is quite common among witches but isn’t necessarily a part of what it is to be a witch. Many of us are actually quite practical down to earth no nonsense types with more scepticism toward the world of supernatural than some of the non believers. I’m afraid a person trying to convince me they had seen a mer person on a recent trip to the coast would get very short shrift indeed! However many witches do work with spirits and have a relationship with occultism so it isn’t surprising that they are often linked in people’s minds with the supernatural. Does an early interest in the supernatural indicate a propensity toward the craft? To my mind unlikely. The films, books and computer games that deal with the world if magic have very far reaching appeal and I find it hard to believe that the only people with an interest in them are witches! I think it more likely that most people, regardless of personal path or belief, are drawn toward the unknown.
Witches are as human as the next person and as I always say - the term witch is just a descriptor of what a person does. I'm a witch in the same sense that somebody else might be a pilot or a bin man. It just describes something I do. So if you choose to practise witchcraft then yes you're a witch, if you choose not then no you are not a witch. The whole concept of the natural witch doe provoke different opinions, my own view is that some people have a natural propensity to witchcraft and this draws them toward the craft and chances are they will be very good at it when they do start practising. This may apply to you but you won't know that unless you make the decision to begin a craft path and see where it leads you.
I disagree strongly with your parents that witches have an association with Satanism. There are a small number who follow Satanism just as there are a small number who follow Christianity but the vast majority of witches see the craft as a secular path that has nothing to do with any religion and I include Devil worship in that. The witches who do choose to blend their craft with a faith usually practise Wicca (not always, I myself have a strong relationship with deity but I am not a Wiccan) which has a very different moral creed to Satanism. I think it a shame that like a lot of people your parents automatically assume Satanism is all about evil. Satanism is very morally neutral, it doesn’t promote evil thoughts or actions.
In terms of your cupboard experience this reminds me of a discussion I was having on a forum recently where we were discussing the viability of unintentionally breaking natural law. My own view is that this is impossible but as many of my respected contemporaries held a different view I wouldn’t automatically write off your experience and say you 100% could not have been flying round the room. I do however agree with your own conclusion that this was more likely a vivid hallucinatory experience.
My advice to you would be to do some more reading about witchcraft and try to sift some of the fiction from the facts. This site will help and so will checking out some of the craft related blogs on our blog list. When you've got a bit of background start to think about whether it is or is not something you may wish to pursue. You speak about betraying your religion, that is an important concern regardless of whether you embrace witchcraft as a secular or religious path. A lot of what witches do is not an easy fit with some religions. If you do feel guilt at practising witchcraft and you feel your religion is pulling you back then likely you won't achieve much as a witch. Think clearly in your own mind about what your priorities are and how you could (if you choose to) harmonise both elements in your life. And don;t rush it, I gave up on the craft quite young because I couldn't see how to integrate it into my personal spirituality but I came back to it when I was older and had worked it out. Let your intuition be your guide and do what feels right and comfortable for you.
Join the Witch Path Forward Facebook community. (Click the icon).
Changing your path/religion/way of life can be a time in your life when you need a bit of support. The purpose of this site is to offer a helping hand and a starting point to explore all the information available on the net.